Birthday Suits

Ms. Monroe, the Lindsay Lohan of yesteryear.


Yesterday it was my birthday–the very not-exciting 31st, though I have big plans for good food and drink in New York this weekend which is, in fact, very exciting. Last night I had a cocktail in my dream-birthday-bar which I’ve searched for every year and, turns out, is located in Providence, RI:


The Dorrance. The ceilings are made of GOLD.


I’m super stoked to be in my thirties, which I have looked forward to, with a strange, preternatural seriousness, since 10. So here I am! So far, so good.

Anyway,  I got curious about celebrity birthdays while taking in the gilded ceilings at the best-bar-ever-that-I-couldn’t-afford-to-be-in. For your viewing pleasure, then, the birthday stylings of the other half!


Everything is awesome.


Where do you think Kanye celebrated his 30th birthday? Like, take a wild guess.

I’ll just hang out while you think about it.

Oh, did you say Louis Vuitton? OF COURSE THAT’S WHERE!



Let’s take a moment to remember Madonna of the good old days, before she got all stumble-ish at the Super Bowl (though she’s still a tough lady, a mogul, and a bazillionare, so God Bless):


Cakes full of blow?


Madge celebrated her 52nd with this dude, who apparently is her boyfriend:


Something is creepy. Funeral outfit, perhaps? Or maybe the sad-eyed children?


If she’d lighten up on the lypo and just age gracefully, that would be so much more exciting. Either way, I’m guessing that handsome gent is a gift that keeps on giving. Maybe she could just wear white next time she’s out on the boat, just to ease up on the severe thing. In other news, nice sunglasses!


Speaking of aging gracefully.


You know who did the same bad-ass look for his entire adult life? Mark Twain! He looks pretty awesome in that ‘stache at his 70th birthday party. May we all rock our twilight years in such style.

Speaking of style, guess what I wish I’d done for my 30th?? This!


Bianca Jagger enters her 30th birthday party on a white horse.


And you know what I hope I’m doing at 90?




I’d also be open to a Jay-Z-esque 40th:


Go magnum or go home!


Or a weekend in Paris. Either way.

If it’s your birthday season, then happy birthday to you! If you are a Pisces, congratulations. It’s our time!  White horses await.


About Thomas Page McBee

Gentleman first, always. James Dean is my patron saint, poet is my gender. More about me here:

One comment

  1. Pingback: gonna party like it’s my birthday - Hello Love Blog

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