This bizarre winter-that-time-forgot has really supercharged my need for new spring “goods.” I’m usually too hermetic, pale, and doughy to care much for spring fashion in February, but this apocalyptic novelty has gotten my ass in gear and ready for the beach.
I’ve been stockpiling inspiration that doesn’t quite fit neatly in one post or the other, but that is screaming to be included in some irreverent way. So without further dilly dally, these are some of the things I’m coveting and would love to see on my beach-ready frame or yours.
Note: Do not attempt to wear all of these things at the same time. Duh?
I’m really into subtle polka dots right now. Either super tiny or in monochromatic color ways. Tiny florals? I’m on the fence. Convince me.
I am near positive these would look kind of insane on my face, but that would not keep me from wearing them. And every time I’d take them off when walking inside or into a dark shadow, I would dramatically whip them from my face, widen my eyes like a crazy person and glare into space like Norma Desmond. Very Dramatic.
I actually have one of these and wear it less frequently than I should. The buttery leather ribbon on the brim is so soft and the “straw” is a perfect neutral copper color. I think everyone needs one of these. You can borrow mine.
Like Michael Braithwaite, I never tire of looking like I’m stepping off a boat. I own probably 13 striped tank tops that I rotate throughout the week and tear through at least two pairs of Sperry’s each summer. The nautical aesthetic is unavoidable each spring and carried out with varying degrees of success. This spring sweater is so lovely in its oatmeal marled weave and it quenches my inner need for an anchor tattoo. Two birds. One anchor.
No image exists of my #5 covetable good. Why? Because as far as I can tell, no one has made it yet. I keep asking and searching the depths of the Internet, but no one has made an adult-sized, cable knit union suit. Cashmere preferably, but beggars can’t be choosers at this point. If I had a black or navy shawl collar, well-fitted cable knit union suit, I dare say that I would never take it off. NEVER. Can someone please come to my rescue and either A) make me a damn cashmere cable knit union suit or B) tell someone they know to make me this thing. I once saw a pair of cable knit “sweatpants” but they were ill-fitting and just sweatpants. That will not do.
Jessica Grindstaff can do no wrong in my book. She is amazing and aside from just being amazing, she makes these prize ribbons that make you feel special and extraordinary for imaginary things like “Best Rhino” or “Octopus Wrangling.” She is also a co-founder of the Phantom Limb Company with Erik Sanko. So many wonderful things this duo does!
This is strictly for naps. A full night’s rest would not really be all that comfortable… but a nap in the sun dappled shade. Yes! I’m also really into striped awnings and casual beach cabanas like these ones below in the resort village of Dinard, France. I think I’ll make one.
This next elusive “good” is a preview of another post that is formulating in my brain, but has not yet taken full form. Men’s vintage one piece bathing suits. This comes as no surprise to anyone that knows me, but I love men’s vintage one piece bathing suits from 1900-1930. Not always practical, but definitely worth a little more exploration…
The best smell you might ever come across is Santa Maria Novella’s Orange Blossom Water. Spray it on your pillow or on your collar. You can’t go wrong and you will feel like spring freshness all year long.
Saddle shoes and classic menswear! This is what spring has in store for us. I will look happier than this, but you get the point. This irreverent mix of things that are exciting for me this spring has come to a close. Get these things and you will be a happier person. The trunk is un-gettable, but aside from that most of these things are totally attainable. Good luck skipping over February…March…April…and half of May. Happy spring!