Gay for Gosling: Learning to be a Gentleman from the Crush That Dare Not Speak its Name

Gay for Gosling: it should be a shirt. I’d wear it.

And so would you, straight guy. Folks not-so-into-dudes-that-way (though my sister would argue that we’re all probably innately bisexual, so chew on that) are dropping like dominoes over here (even the lesbionics amongst us, I bet), and you know gay guys and het-ladies were on this forever ago, even high-minded non-celebrity-crush types. The backlash is coming down the pike at some point, but for now the “Hey Girl” meme’s incredible popularity proves (this is a scientific survey, after all) that the whole hemisphere seems wrapped around his peace-loving, ballet-class-taking, lovable-oddball fingers.

And I want to examine why. Because I have a hunch that what we’ve got here is a role model for gentlemen everywhere, a stylish, self-effacing, confident, talented dude that is worthy of study.

Plus he's dreamy.

Where to start? There’s a lot to love, perhaps most notably that he appears to enjoy not taking himself seriously. He’d be insufferable otherwise, but somehow he manages to just seems like a nice guy who happens to be ruggedly pretty and well dressed (well, okay, not well dressed here but more on that in a minute):

I mean. Come on. You know what? PJs!! That’s fucking charming!

So what can we learn from the man? Well, he’s an old-school gentleman, for one. Breaking up a fight in the mean streets of New York?

And then, reportedly, having the good sense to be embarrassed by the attention? Stand-up guy.

And he’s respectful of women, most especially his mom. What did you do on New Year’s Day? Probably you didn’t take your  super classy girlfriend to meet your mom, and then enjoy a family outing to the movies? Did you? I didn’t think so. It’s like he wrote the book on boyfriendhood, and had fun doing it. He is the counter-narrative to the dominant, sexist, Oh-I-have-to-spend-time-doing-boring-things-with-my-lady jazz.

And that’s how you end up with Eva Mendes. For the record.

Appropriate attire, Folks.

The collective panting is obviously absurd, but it bears a real want under its silly surface. Why aren’t we all acting more like this guy? And expecting as much from our entertainers? Instead of bratty, histrionic, or smug what if we could get more goodnatured, nonplussed, and secure? Like, secure enough to kiss dude friends on the mouth?

This might be the coolest thing I’ve seen straight guys do in…ever:

Nothing says "confident in my masculinity" for a straight guy than kissing your director on the lips. He looks pretty cozy about it, too.

Men are generally chided for even small displays of affection with each other (in the west, anyway), but Gosling was just on the cover of Esquire, a magazine that promises to be a “guide for men who want to live a fuller, richer, more informed and rewarding” lives. A bible for classy dudes. And the classy It guy of the moment wears footie pjs, hangs out with his mom for fun, and tells the world that he “thinks like a girl,” which is problematic, yes, but then he goes on:

“I was literally raised by my mother and my sister. And I feel like I wouldn’t know how to think any other way. My sister was my best friend and my hero growing up. Because I was home-schooled I didn’t have a lot of friends and I did ballet, which was always just girls. All that stuff had an effect on my brain.”

I’m not trying to give the guy extra credit just because he’s not being sexist. But I think I’m correct in my translation: I value women and my femininity.

Interpretation= This is what a gentleman looks like.

Ryan loves hugging.

Frankly, he looks like he’s having a good time. Which, when you think about it, is all-too-rare a depiction of the human experience. Life is short, you know?

Unlike that hack Jon Hamm, in his off-time Ryan generally dresses like he cares about how he looks:

This is also what I wear to the pizza shop.

Excellent detailing.


Perhaps you’ve noticed that his clothes fit, he’s relevant without being trendy, and he takes calculated risks (necklaces!) without piling on a bunch of accessories or looking like he’s in costume. So clothes are right. But style is 10% inspiration and 90% being awesome.

In conclusion, he’s the most brilliant actor working today. I’ve been a fan of Gosling ever since this film, which blew my mind:

The bastard’s a genius, too.

Get on board.


About Thomas Page McBee

Gentleman first, always. James Dean is my patron saint, poet is my gender. More about me here:

One comment

  1. Kat

    I feel like this post can be summed up thusly: don’t be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the Bronx. Or something.

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