I could never keep my whites quite white enough. No matter how much bleach I used or how much sun-drenched line drying I did, my clothes were never so much “bright white” as “off-bone.” That first “hit” of perfect crispness is what the resort wear business is all about and what separates the collective “US” from the hated-but-secretly- swooned-over “THEM” on vacation time. “Oh, these old things”? I WANT THEY! Check out how Chanel does Resort below. Tri-corner hats and bare legs? Yes!
Resort wear is crazy romantic and super impractical for the most part. Awesome bathing suits with totally insane impending tan lines are no big thing to the super rich, I guess. It’s no doubt a magazine myth, but rumor has it that there are some places in the wold where you can walk around shopping in crazy high heels and a bikini with giant jewelry on and feel totally normal. Dubai?
I like my vacation attire to be simple with an occasional stripe and to make me look like I basically shit solid gold bars. Call it class envy or call it good vacation sense. Looking impossibly rich and eccentric on vacation is wildly entertaining unless of course you’re building dung huts in a third world country. Otherwise give me Out of Africa luxury safari. Give me F. Scott Fitzgerald French Riviera. I want old money resort attire, not showy Vegas swimsuits and baggy shorts at Disney.
Dickie Greenleaf knew what was up on vacation in The Talented Mr. Ripley. Take a cue from Dickie and buy some shorts that fit and show off some leg. You’re a man… with legs. Let them be seen! And if you have tan feet it either means you’re a life guard or you’re fearlessly wealthy and can afford to tan your feet and not work. Both are okay in my book. Or it can also mean you are lazy and live in California or Florida where the sun is always shining and you are always doing nothing.
It’s best to relax and let the location be the inspiration for who you will be be on vacation. Sea Traveler. Arctic Snow Explorer. Mediterranean Bohemian Skank. It’s all possible on vacation. Join me!