Where do you Winter? Resort Wear and Class-y Envy

I'M ON A BOAT!

I could never keep my whites quite white enough. No matter how much bleach I used or how much sun-drenched line drying I did, my clothes were never so much “bright white” as “off-bone.” That first “hit” of perfect crispness is what the resort wear business is all about and what separates the collective “US” from the hated-but-secretly- swooned-over “THEM” on vacation time. “Oh, these old things”? I WANT THEY! Check out how Chanel does Resort below. Tri-corner hats and bare legs? Yes!

Resort wear is crazy romantic and super impractical for the most part. Awesome bathing suits with totally insane impending tan lines are no big thing to the super rich, I guess. It’s no doubt a magazine myth, but rumor has it that there are some places in the wold where  you can walk around shopping in crazy high heels and a bikini with giant jewelry on and feel totally normal. Dubai?

Who wants a tan line across their forehead? Keira does!

I like my vacation attire to be simple with an occasional stripe and to make me look like I basically shit solid gold bars. Call it class envy or call it good vacation sense. Looking impossibly rich and eccentric on vacation is wildly entertaining unless of course you’re building dung huts in a third world country. Otherwise give me Out of Africa luxury safari. Give me F. Scott Fitzgerald French Riviera. I want old money resort attire, not showy Vegas swimsuits and baggy shorts at Disney.

Aside from the questionable sandals this guy is shitting gold right now!

Dickie Greenleaf knew what was up on vacation in The Talented Mr. Ripley. Take a cue from Dickie and buy some shorts that fit and show off some leg. You’re a man… with legs. Let them be seen! And if you have tan feet it either means you’re a life guard or you’re fearlessly wealthy and can afford to tan your feet and not work. Both are okay in my book. Or it can also mean you are lazy and live in California or Florida where the sun is always shining and you are always doing nothing.

Dickie Greenleaf doing his best Jude impression.

 

It’s best to relax and let the location be the inspiration for who you will be be on vacation. Sea Traveler. Arctic Snow Explorer. Mediterranean Bohemian Skank. It’s all possible on vacation. Join me!

 

I'm ready for a picnic in the dunes wearing impractical clothes that cost more than a months rent!

About Tyler Doran

Tyler is the owner of Heir Antiques, a curiosities shop in New York. He lives in the seaside-ish village of Wakefield, Rhode Island where he collects crazy stuff and forms very serious opinions about wildly unserious things. Doran loathes chenille anything; even blankets but especially sweaters. He lives for rare roast beef, unripend peaches and frozen candy (Haribo gummi bears being the best). Tyler plays tennis, swims and bikes to try to look like a 1920′s Olympian and so that he can eat frozen gummi bears and not feel all that guilty about it. His last three Halloween costumes were a Demonic 18th Century Aristocrat, a Demonic 1920′s Olympic Badminton Player, and a Bulgarian Strongman Circus performer from the 30s. Turn of the Century team photographs of guys in cricket blazers and striped football sweaters never cease to inspire him to dress like an English gentleman on a transatlantic steamship or at picnics by the lake. He once had an incredibly detailed dream about being a stowaway named Whisker Mittens on a ship bound for the African coast and he romanticizes histories in a big way.

IBC LOVES your brain, and we encourage thoughtful, lively discussion. We will, however, moderate comments that are abusive or disrespectful. Stay classy!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: