Every generation has its monster. When Twilight emerged as the world’s number one source of abstinence porn, teen girls everywhere pledged their undying love to the undead. But with the release of the latest Twilight movie, the bloodsucking star of the series has been overshadowed by a beefier, harrier hero–the werewolf. Writers and filmmakers have always drawn on horror to process the big fears of the moment with some good ol’ fashioned gore. Night of the Living Dead (1968) reflected the violence of the Vietnam War, while AMC’s current hit show The Walking Dead uses a similar zombie apocalypse scenario to represent our fears of economic collapse. Emerging in the wake of Twilight hysteria, we have MTV’s Teen Wolf. But unlike The Walking Dead, this creature feature series hits a specifically teenage nerve–the fear of waking up with rampant hair growth, uncontrollable urges, and really unfortunate teeth despite years of sporting a headgear.
But the werewolves of Teen Wolf and Twilight aren’t pubescent freaks–they’re sexy. Really sexy. Of course, this is nothing new. From the earliest cinematic representations of Dracula, many of our favorite onscreen monsters have been surprisingly good-looking and stylish to boot. In an effort to capture the appeal of horror’s most popular hairy beast, here’s a lesson in fashion from teenage werewolves through the ages:
#1: A jacket indicative of athletic status is an essential accessory for those long runs through the woods and exhausting killing sprees.
The letterman jacket:
#2 The werewolf may look menacing at night, but choosing an “alternative” style ensures that everyone knows about your wolfish ways before the full moon rises.
#3: For those who must keep their lycanthropy under wraps, some too-cool-for-school shades will hide those bleary eyes after a late night.
#4 Since werewolves tend to rip off their street clothes once the full moon rises, avoid destroying that perfect flannel by leaving yourself a little wiggle room–go on, show some chest.