Extra! Extra! Fall Fashion 2011 Reflects My Pre-Existing Interests!

Remember last year how so many women (myself included) were bemoaning the fact that menswear had greatly surpassed womenswear on the interesting scale? Last year around this time I was looking longingly at all the heritage brands, single source fabrics, and rugged outdoors-y lines available to guys everywhere and wondering why-oh-why I couldn’t find anything other than the same-old-same-old in womenswear. That was a dark time. I felt like butt. I had to scavenge photos of early 1900s fisherpeople from Siberia for fashion inspiration. Siberia, people! Land of Dostoevsky, permafrost, and forgotten vistas!

Leonhard & Constance Seppala looking CO-ZY!

That’s all over now! The Fall/Winter trends coming off of the runway are totally weird in a “I’ve just gone on a trip to a variety of cold places around the world and now I’m making an outfit from stuff I bought in every place” kind of way. There are plaids, there are bright colors, there are ties and big fluffy fur hats, there are lady tuxes, there are wools and giant chunky sweaters. Essentially, Fall/Winter 2011-12 is like a present to me from every designer. THANK YOU, I ACCEPT!

The Row is bananas

Scrap the leopard print and you’ve got a line-up of looks I love. As those of you who follow my posts know, I’m not one for skirts and dresses–particularly in the colder months (I hate a cold breeze on my ass)–but I’m so pumped about their ’40s-inspired designs. The colors! The material! The gloves! It’s like Lauren Bacall‘s ghost returned to design for The Row. And the finishing touch of that Bolshevik-esque cascading fur hat is brilliant. BRILLIANT (I’m NOT getting into the politics of using fur–I don’t even know where The Row gets their fur and for all I know they use vintage furs from animals that died eons ago like McQueen did). That coat on the end makes me want to be a better woman.

Hello trousers! You are mine.

I thought it was worth it to include a full shot of the header image so that you could get a look at the full effect. Saffron is one of the best colors ever invented by nature. Not everyone can pull it off, but if you can, you REALLY can and it’s not a bad idea to deck yourself head to toe in its sunshine-y glow. My grandmother once gave me a lesson in what my color profile is and as it turns out, saffron is one of my colors. Along with rust.

The Row’s strong shoulders and sharp angles are really refreshing after a summer of soft lines and maxidresses. Their accessories lack all dainty pretension, which I also love. The wide ties conjure images of Katherine Hepburn and the fur hats are a really creative exaggeration of the mink hat trend that was so popular in the early ’40s.

Good luck tromping through that drift after that smoke, sweet cheeks.

How is it smoking always looks so good until real people are doing it?

For the past 10 years I’ve wanted a collection of 100% wool, chunky fisherman sweaters. As it turns out, finding 100% wool chunky fisherman sweaters for women is a nearly herculean task (FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!). Apparently now everyone else is with me, because big chunky wool sweaters for women are all over the place all of a sudden.

No way, hair.

The massive layered neck and asymmetrical zipper are pretty drool-worthy, as are those suede elbow patches in the background there. Hey, Elbow Patches! Lemme get a look at you! Yeah, you’re a stone fox. Nicholas K. unfortunately paired this miracle of a high-necked sweater with sweatpants. So I cropped the photo. I realize that everyone was oohing and ahhhhing about fashion sweatpants last year, but I never bought it and I’m not buying it now. Just like I don’t buy that it’s ok to wear jammies at the airport or anywhere else for that matter. If it has a drawstring, leave it at home. Pick yourself up, for god’s sake.

Anyway, SWEATERS!

Nicholas K. knows the way!

More Nicholas K. I love when wind can't touch my neck.

This plum is a nice color for that oversized Tracy Reese sweater.  I’m over the maxi thing, though.

Maxi Skirts make me look 2ft tall.

This Edun sitch is super weird and kind of ugly, but I'm into it.

A number of years ago, I was convinced that the only thing I could ever wear to my friends’ wedding was a lady tux. I spent the better part of a year trying to find a masculine/feminine lady tux a la Yves St. Laurent.

If I looked like that, and I saw me in a European street, I would totally date me.

I’ve been interested in the illusive lady tux ever since–my first ever post for IBC was about Janelle Monae because beyond the fact that her last album weaves together the bizarre story of a street war and an android, she is the queen of the contemporary lady tux.

  NOW the lady tux is all over the place! A day late and a dollar short, fashion world, but at least you got there.

I still prefer Ms. Monae's approach, but this is better than nothing.

WHOA.

Speaking of plaid, and in keeping with how fashion designers are apparently designing for me this season, I LOVE PLAID. I never went to Catholic school so I always exoticized the experience. Not in that weird way some dudes do, but in that way where I thought loafers and plaid and sweater vests were so UNIQUE, man! In fact, growing up awash in a sea of every nuanced form of Baptist, it’s possible that I exoticized the Catholic faith itself, what with their occult practice forms of worship and weird outfits.  Catholics, like the Mafia, were the strange creatures they had in larger cities in the North.

Wait. Where were we?

Buy this thing for me, Internet:

I feel weird about sometimes liking DKNY.

And for the various people with concerns regarding if colorful pants are in this season…

Sweet Saffron.

That could SO EASILY be me.

I'm stoked to keep wearing my salmon pants through the fall and winter.

And finally, my most long-lived interest… POST APOCALYPTIC WEAR!

Plaid rules your distopic future, peons!

She will send an arrow through you.

Goodnight and good luck, dear readers!

About Michael von Braithwaite

Does it look like I'd wear it on a boat, at an eccentric person's estate or accompanied by a peacock on a chain? Yeah, I'll probably buy that.

4 comments

  1. Louise

    Like like like like. Yes yes yes yes.

  2. Oh lord, can I just tell you how much I’ve struggled in the pur(suit) of finding thee perfect lady tux for my wedding? It’s sad. Everything in Boston either made me look like a 9-5er or grandma-of-the-bride. Instead of drunk online shopping, I should have consulted you!

    • Michael von Braithwaite

      It’s really hard to actually find a lady tux off the runway. You sort of have to compile the elements yourself, taking care to not use REAL tux bits, which tend to be lumpy. Or I always say find yourself a good tailor and make it from scratch to fit just right and have all the elements you want!

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