How to dress like a Super Bitch

If you are over 30, you may remember a night soap that chronicled the lives of rich people being nasty to each other while dressed high-end and on-trend: Dynasty.

On television, every clan of back-stabbing rich people has one member who is more devious, more cold hearted, more diabolical than all the rest. She is always a she and she is the Super Bitch.  She instigates shit for no reason, says shit that is hella uncalled for and downright cruel, she will sleep with your husband and slowly poison your children.

And she will do so while dressed luxuriously and impeccably.

Meet Fallon Carrington Colby, Super Bitch of Dynasty:

This plum jumpsuit will definitely aid in your quest to seduce and blackmail the limo driver.

Cropped Cable knit with high-waisted black pants is perfect for masking the pregnancy you are lying to everyone about.

An Equestrian inspired look is perfect for going down to the stable to tamper with your step-mother’s horse so that it will throw her to the ground when she rides it next.

A sweater dress will keep you warm despite your cold tiny heart.

Soft angora is a nice contrast to your scathing words of judgement.

A monochrome surplice dress combines class and sexiness in perfect proportion for seducing your husbands father.

The demure front and risque back of this dress make it the perfect metaphor for your two-faced filandering ways!

Of course, I do not actually advocate acting like a Super Bitch. First of all, she is a harmful misogynist trope constructed to make it seem like women are responsible for all the drama in the world, which they create mostly by being sluts. Second of all — well, if you need a second reason you are beyond what I can do for you.

That said, there isn’t any reason not to dress like a Super Bitch. These outfits minus the subterfuge are classy.

Love

Carrie

About Carrie Leilam Love

i love words, babies, and shoes better than everything.

One comment

  1. Thank God you wrote this article because young ladies need to know. What would we do without ’80’s tv shows to show us how to live?

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