Flip Off, Indeed.

photo Courtesy of The Sartorialist

Last Thursday fellow IBC fellow Leo Plass wrote a post all about sandal options for the masculine type with a particular plea that flippie floppies be reserved only for dirty bathroom floors. Dudes have a history of not looking good in sandals really of any kind, in my opinion. Unless they take care of their feet. Usually, though, their toes are weird proportions, their nails unkempt, thick and ragged, skin dry and mysteriously calloused, and then there’s the hair issue. Somehow dude feet still exist in the land before time. Gross. Get a pedicure if you’re going to wear anything open on your feet, guys. Or at least do some routine maintenance yourself.

Leo asked me to address sandals for the feminine types, but I actually don’t see problems with sandals on women too often; I will say that he and I part ways when it comes to our opinions on Birkenstocks and Tevas, though. I can see how dudes MIGHT be able to pull these off with the right look, but they look awful on women. I don’t care how much flack I might get about comfort.

Do you want to look like a Berkeley grandmother? DO YOU? If your answer is yes, then you should probably search out a different blogger, because you and I have different stylistic communities, which is fine and we can get drinks or something, but I’m not for you when it comes to a long-term relationship. It’s not me, it’s you. Wait. Yeah, that’s right.

As the weather sputters through another Spring, the internet has been all a flurry with sandals trends for the Summer–every blogger from here to Farfoodle is screeching about wedges and platform sandals. It looks like the 70s are all up on everyone’s feet. Which is great, because the 70s made awesome sandals, though I don’t care for wedges OR platforms for myself. The flats are great. Always flats for von B. So here are some trends, and some more universal options. Trim your nails!

 

 

Like I said, I generally don’t get into the wedge sandal thing, but if you can do it, then by all means. The wedges this season are crazy– for some reason designers are getting their Bedazzler on and there is a lot of footwear floating around with giant bows, weird metallic elements, and gaudy fabrics. I think it might be like the 90s meets the 70s.

 

These Strawberry Shortcake D&G Wedges make your middle toes do all the work

 

 

Anyway, here’s a respectable leather option:

 

I would fall over. I just would.

 

 

Opening Ceremony makes these weird futuristic clog wedge things that I both love and hate simultaneously. I wouldn’t buy these for myself, but I like that they confuse me and I can see them looking super good on someone with the confidence to wear the hell out of them.

 

These would look super good on some robot SOMEWHERE

 

Marc Jacobs makes these pretty straightforward sandals. Sweet and simple:

 

The tendons still strain, but the toes are cradled

 

 

The gladiator thing is still happening this Summer. I never thought I’d get into that whole shtick, but in this its second season of popularity, there are some nice pieces that deviate from the standard form a bit.

 

Like these ankle boot gladiator-esque sandals by Burak Uyan:

 

These breathe like a mo-fo

 

 

 

 

Alejandro Ingelmo: Keeping shit shiny without looking tacky

 

 

If you want a little metallic without the gaudy look, then keep it minimal. Alejandro Ingelmo makes flats with a little flair but not much fanfare.

 

 

Awesome sauce

 

If the trends aren’t up your alley–if you’ve typically been a flip flop enthusiast–then there are still options that won’t make you feel out of your element, but won’t look like you don’t care about life (p.s. I’m fine with flip flops on the beach, but that’s all–not around town).

 

 

Like a flip flop, but not a flip flop, by Ralph Lauren

 

Maybe you’re not a sandal type at all. Maybe you don’t like to flash toe. Or maybe you live in a city riddled with nasty streets and don’t want fully exposed foot flesh. Very well. Consider an open air loafer!

 

 

BAM! Ralph Lauren loafer sandals.

 

 

Opening Ceremony's open air affair

 

Finally, maybe you don’t want any air at all. Then buy Espadrilles! Like Toms, but Spanish.

 

These Espadrilles are already down by the pool

 

I’ll leave you with my point illustrated.

 

 

 

Courtesy of The Sartorialist

 

About Michael von Braithwaite

Does it look like I'd wear it on a boat, at an eccentric person's estate or accompanied by a peacock on a chain? Yeah, I'll probably buy that.

10 comments

  1. amal

    Sandals Forever! no birkenstocks. ever. i hate you for showing me the marc jacobs. i now want!!!!

  2. Leo Plass

    I don’t think women should wear Birks either, but, men sandals are so ugly, at least Birks are just suede and cork. And I don’t really think anyone should wear Tevas either, I just thought those were the best if you HAVE to be sporty, sick of the super sport black ones everywhere. And yes, that they could possibly be pulled off with the right clothing, like a so wrong their right type situation. Anyway, good job!

  3. atc

    who makes those stripey espadrilles? it doesnt say and i want them!

  4. Is there any hope for sandals for the more masculine set?

  5. chrispy

    “Berkely grandmother”, my foot!

  6. Pingback: Seeking Summer Savings & Style: Swimwear « Ironing Board Collective

  7. I don’t like sandals (personally) and no one should ever wear tevas or birks…ever. (NOTE SACRAMENTO I’m talking to you! xoxo kiki) I only wear flip flops to the beach or to and from yoga class! I like vintage huaraches that are basically like open weave oxfords and more masculine often only for men from the 70’s and new non leather (keeping it cruelty free) open or cut out oxfords perfect for dandies everywhere and my genderqueer ass.

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