In My Opinionation

Hi readers of Leo Plass. Unfortunately, he’s unable to post today and so I agreed to fill in so we don’t suffer from a Thursday blog blackout. The post I did Monday was all about how designers in the States and in Europe are folding in colors and patterns routinely seen in Mexico, Guatemala, and beyond.

Ironically (or maybe it’s not ironic, maybe it’s just a humorous fact), notorious Mexican designers, Marvin Y Quetzal seem to be looking to the United States circa 1991 for their Spring/Summer line. Big ol’ bows, shoes with design elements that look like perhaps your socially awkward niece hot glued on, bulky denim and bedazzled everything, man.

 

This bitch just fell off her rodeo bull and into a pile of glamor.

 

WHAT UP! Jammies and bows make me feel like a natural woman.

 

 

I've got ruffles on my shoes, spiders on my socks, floral prints, satin, and a teddy bear threatening my ear with a blade, but I just need a LITTLE bit more!!

 

 

Hey. You know what this reminds me of? BLOSSOM! You know what THAT reminds me of? How people who don’t remember Blossom… or Clarissa Explains it All… or Brotherly Love think it’s a good idea to use the 90s as inspiration for street style. The 90s weren’t all “heroine” chic and disaffected grunge. Here’s a short survey of white people in the 90s:

 

 

Blossom is not all together happy with this paper sunflower

 

And this:

 

Mayim Bialik did this to herself

 

 

Wow.

 

 

That is the correct expression for that vest thing. Clarissa can't explain everything. Is that a jacket?

 

 

If You were 13 in the 90s, Joey Lawrence would have been your crush/fashion inspiration! There but for the grace of god, right?

 

 

There's a Lawrence Brother for every age. What's happening here anyway?

 

 

You know it. 90210-- the IT club of good fashion in the 90s. What a shit show.

 

 

I know that some of you are probably saying to yourselves “but WAIT! Those are all from the early 90s. The MID 90s were totally cool! We didn’t have a national debt and the gays were acknowledged as existing. What about My So-Called Life?!”

What about it indeed. I loved My So-Called Life. I thought everyone looked awesome and Angela was totally me. Like she deeply understood me. But let’s revisit the stylez.

BAM:

 

This HAPPENED, people!

 

 

My friend had a CRUSH on this situation!

 

 

This is what it looked like to be "artsy" in high school in the 90s. A cautionary tale. Rayanne didn't even have DREADS. She had braids.

 

 

Look, every generation rehashes the style of some other generation. It’s fine. The recycling of 90s tropes you see on the street aren’t exact recreations of the horrors that happened from 1991-1998, but historical knowledge can ensure we don’t accidentally repeat the mistakes of our fashion forefathers. If you find yourself wanting to don your person in baggy denim and bedazzled bowler hats– ironically or sincerely– watch this:

 

 

Wow! Blossom was so good at the hip hops. In my opinionation, you won’t want to see light-toned denim ever again.

About Michael von Braithwaite

Does it look like I'd wear it on a boat, at an eccentric person's estate or accompanied by a peacock on a chain? Yeah, I'll probably buy that.

7 comments

  1. Liz

    Joey Lawrence…I worship you. I still have my Joey Lawrence Barbie doll (missing his pants somehow..) And, I must say I wanted SO bad to have a neck tie skirt like Blossom has in the credits…

  2. Beth

    Michael, you have dozens of excellent points here. I’m taking them in and processing as I type this.

  3. okay…but don’t you think we should bring back dancing intros to tv shows????

  4. Let’s be serious. As teen idols go, Joey Lawrence looks like a throbbing tower of masculinity next to Justin Bieber…

    • michaelvonbraithwaite

      But let’s be REALLY serious. That might be the best comment of all time about the 90s and CERTAINLY about Joey Lawrence! “Throbbing tower of masculinity??” Amazing!

  5. mimi

    What amazes me, besides the veritable rainbow of light blue denim, is that the Bev Hills girls have bodies. Breasts! Hips! And on their faces: cheeks! This was pre-Calista. Pre-Lara. Have you seen a teen soap lately? I’m kind of addicted so I see them all the time. Anyway, turn on Pretty Little Liars some time. Those girls are Bratz dolls, but thinner.

IBC LOVES your brain, and we encourage thoughtful, lively discussion. We will, however, moderate comments that are abusive or disrespectful. Stay classy!

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